I got a call from sister today. She basically kicked me in the but. I know that she is right so I will try. Basically she said that my pattern has been after surgery, I slowly sink into a depression. Looking back over the last few weeks, I know she is right. I have struggled lately putting on a brave face or finding the humor. Especially with this one. It was just bigger than I anticipated.
I know that part of it is the let down of post surgery. You loose the adrenaline. You loose the purpose of a date and time that you are working toward. Now, you just sit and heal. While everyone worries about you.
I hate that they worry about me. I think I am just a little too independent for my own good.
So I will blog and try to deal with my feelings here. I know that someone may read them from my family. That's OK. They already know that I am just shy of crazy - ha ha. I do have an appointment with psychologist. That will help.
I am exercising. If you can small walks and ankle rolls exercise. I breath into the stupid, asinine tube. I cough despite that I am in pain. I am doing everything I can to heal.
I just want it happen a little sooner.