Tuesday, August 7, 2007

Taking Some Time

Good news -- in New York last week and my scans are clear! That is seven months with new tumor growth - I am dancing with NED! What a great time.

The doctors are advising no chemo at this time. Without a tumor to identify the effectiveness of the drugs, they can't justify chemo right now. So I am putting it on hold. At first it was hard to take because I wanted to be proactive. But after time, I realize that it is a sensible approach. The chmo I would have to take is very harsh - some of the worst given. Why make me sick now when they can't be sure it works. I was advised to embrace my time and not live scan to scan.

It is hard to not rush out and live all at once. I want to go now and see and do all that is on my life list. Today. It is hard to live beyond because the next scan could bring the next downfall. I think what she (my doc) is saying that I need to view my disease as any other disease -- like heart disease or multiple scelerosis. It is just another layer to my already layered life.

I like that. I like to look at it as just another layer. Que Sera (did I spell that right?)

The past few weeks have been lazy and hazy with my children. We have taken the time to slow down and just enjoy each other. Of course, there is band practices, doctor appointments, etc. But overall, it has been quieter than in the past. Lots of sleeping in, watching TV, walks, park visits, bike rides (well not me but them!), blowing bubbles, squirt guns, etc.

So the post may slow down a little. At least until school starts. I have several projects that I am picking up that include writing. My outlet for creativity and emotion. So expect more in August. Until then, I think I will go blow some bubbles with kids.