Sunday, April 27, 2008

Midnight Questions

It is 12:02 am and I can't sleep. What a surprise I say sarcastically?
I hope to hear tomorrow from the NY docs. I am praying that they say there is time for chemotherapy. Or that they have other options for me. I am scared that removal of another lobe of lung and part of my heart will decrease my capacity that question becomes "What kind of life?"
That is the question that has always haunted me since my diagnosis. At what point do I say, enough is enough! At what point do I throw in the towel? I could go on but you get the picture - how is that for fitting in cliches? Three in one paragraph! My creative writing prof would kill me.
So I sit late at night thinking through my questions; reading till I get sleepy and praying for an answer. You never know, surprises are always there.
Besides, I choose hope.

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