I have discovered the secret to happiness. To know what the secret I must first describe who I am in groups of people. I have often been the cruise director of a group. Asking questions, making quiet suggestions, or making complete plans. If not the cruise director, I was the wall flower. Hanging back until I could leave quietly disappointed.
I have decided to try to live. Many people have said that living is living in the moment. But I did not know what that meant. How can you live in the moment? How do you not worry about the future? Even if that meant worrying about what to make for dinner. You have to think about the future. Don't you?
On this trip to NYC, I went with four mothers of autistic children. We are in a support group together. They stayed with me for hours through scans and busy offices. They prayed with me and kept my spirits up - and my thoughts distracted.
When I received my good news I made a small yet conscious decision. To just enjoy these incredibly diverse women. Each has such strength and beauty. They each pause and listen to each other. A source of joy each. That decision led to my momentous discover. The real meaning of life.
To pause and enjoy the beauty of the moment. I put aside the worry of when we would eat; where we would eat; how we would get there; would it rain; is everyone enjoying themselves; will I make it; are my kids OK; do I have enough money and on and on and on - you get the picture.
I just paused and listened to the interchanges. The conversations and laughter. I watched people. I felt the rain on my face. I bought knockoff purses in Chinatown. I ate chinese food with a stranger at the table. I bought tickets for a play that I knew nothing about - and loved it!
In other words, I lived.