Thursday, April 30, 2009

A New Revelation

For the past few years I have been watching quite a bit of television. In fact, the watching of television has become something of a need. If I am not watching TV then I am reading a book. Or engaging in some mind engaging activity.

What does this mean? And why am I writing about it? My house is a mess. For years now. Granted I have been a bit busy the past few years. And my energy level is decreased. All of which adds to my Catholic guilt on not keeping a neat house.

I want to start cleaning my house but I haven't been able to figure out what I am avoiding. I know in my heart that there is some resentment into my not being able to work. I want to work. I have always intended to work. That is a hard dream for my ego to give up.

So why all the TV watching or book reading. Or general avoidance. I think that is the key word avoidance. When I engage in menial tasks like vacuuming, straightening or folding, my mind wonders. My mind is allowed to wonder and think about my life. Thoughts that I would prefer to avoid.

So I watch or read and keep my mind of the other thoughts. I figured it out. Now I just need to figure what to do about it.

1 comment:

SHEILA E said...

Leave the house go... If you friends or family complain hand them a dust rag. HAHA I use to ge the "neat freak" but through you and other friends I let it go.. Life isn't house cleaning but doing what you enjoy. Ann you have influenced others too...