I turn 42 today. I am firmly planted in middle age. Although I just had someone tell me they thought I was older. Happy Birthday to me . . .
We made a decision. I am going to wait awhile for chemo. Give myself some time to heal physically and emotionally. It is now a beautiful spring and I want to be with the kids. Together as a family.
I now can focus on my son and his needs. For so long the attention has been focused on me. Now I need to focus on him.
And my daughters. They have to shoulder so much. They need a break from the cancer. They need time to be with me.
It is a question of quality of life. The cure is as bad as the illness. We just need a time out to figure what to do from now on.
There is a relief from making a decision. I have the joy of life returning to a semblance to normal. Yet in the back of my mind I wonder if I shouldn't be more aggressive. I suppose I will always wonder.
Right now, it is a beautiful May day. I feel the need to celebrate. I am going to embrace my day!