I feel compelled to write the story of the last decade. Even longer in fact. Yet I am puzzled with how to start. Should I jump around in time, go backwards or forward. Should I include only the cancer bits or should it be a story about building – building from fibro to now. How do I include the information on faith? Why am I hesitant to include the faith parts? Does that go back to a fundamental show don’t tell philosophy I grew up with?
Perhaps I should chronicle my writing on the blog. Write about how I make the decisions. Decisions like chronology, voice and truth. Talk about looking at the past and seeing it through a different filter. If I remember at all.
I like to write in short sentences. Language that is simple and direct. Rarely do my sentences follow the traditional noun plus verb format. I write like I speak. I write like I talk. Does that bring me closer to the reader? Is it a more intimate experience? Or just extremely juvenile and annoying?
Even by putting these sentences on paper, I am committing. That is the other fear. Committing. If I don’t tell you then I don’t feel compelled to follow through. Or if I fail, then you wouldn’t know because I never told you.
Big questions. I still don’t know the answers.