Monday, September 15, 2008

The Final Round

Tomorrow I go for my last round of chemotherapy. What a long road! I know that it has only been four cycles but I would go through open heart surgery again before I would do any more chemo.
The most difficult part has been the loss of my brain. Chemo brain is a real condition. From the moment they shoot me up until about two weeks or more I can't form a sentence. I am blanking more and more. Although some would call that normal for me. I hope to regain some of my brain but am not sure that it will all come back.
My blog entries have been so black lately. I have been in a black space. The grind of the chemo is really wearing on me. It is hard to find the humor although I am sure that it surrounds me. The last two years of continuous struggle is wearing on my soul. I certainly could use some downtime.
I know that if I am wearing down, my friends and family must be burned out. I am appreciative of all they do -- I wouldn't be here if it weren't for them!
You won't hear from me for awhile. I anticipate this next treatment to be pretty brutal. Keep me in your prayers.

1 comment:

Nicole said...

We'll be here waiting for you. Your brain and the rest of your body will get through this and heal. It's the final round of chemo and then you can really get down to the business of recovering. I will patiently pray and wait and hope to hear from you whenever that will be.

My neighbor had brain cancer as a teen and then breast cancer later on. She is, miraculously, eight months pregnant. You may feel at a low now, but I do believe this is a normal place to be, sort of a state of preparation as a way to conserve energy for this next round.