Drafting a Query

Drafting a query is an exercise in brief.  Convey your idea minimally and quickly.  Hit them hard and fast and try to leave a positive impressions.

That is the advice from the book I just finished on query letters.  Good advice with a well thought out formula.  So why then the first initial rejections.

Not that I don't expect rejection.  I expect enough rejection to line the walls.  But what I found missing was my voice.  Following the outline was a good exercise in presenting my case quickly and concisely.  Yet there was me there.

So I reworked the query for the past three months.  Yes, that sounds like a long time but remember my fingers don't always and there are children involved.  Writing will always come second while they are home.

Today I am hopeful.  I woke up this morning with an idea in the front of mind.  I rolled it around and began to get excited.  I think it could really be a good hook.

Here goes:

The distance from the average toilet seat to the ground is sixteen inches. That is a long fall with tubes sewn into your leg. Yes, I fell often and talk about in my humorous and inspirational memoir, Umm, God, How Do I Sit On the Toilet?   . . . .

What do you think?  Maybe someone will sit up and take notice.  Here's hoping!