Legal Stuff

I was browsing articles on the Writer's Digest website when I was struck with a disturbing thought. Since this is a memoir, do I have to worry about legal stuff? Do I need to worry over writing about real people -- doctors, nurses, friends and even my family? Am I setting myself up for a lawsuit?

There are some tests for this that I can apply as a writer. First, am I writing about real people? Yes, I am writing about real people. In many cases, I don't even know their names. They are just people I sat next to in a waiting room. Or that faceless nurse in post op surgery. Or the priest hearing confession in NYC? I don't even remember the name of the parish. But essentially yes, they are real people.

Are they recognizable to readers? Probably not. In fact, I don't know if I would even recognize them again. Except for the surgeons. If you really were a creeper, you could find the surgeons online as they are very specialized. I can change the name but not always the description. I will need to step carefully there.

Am I spouting indisputable facts? Nah. Only opinions. Opinions influenced by drugs, pain and a warped sense of humor. I am sure that anyone could dispute that.

Are you disclosing private, possibly embarrassing information? Yup, absolutely. Very embarrassing. I believe I mention the anus a few times. Breasts. Moods. Tubes coming out of everywhere. Yup, very embarrassing. Who cares? It's only me being embarrassed. And anyone who has had any kind of surgery knows the embarrassment I'm talking about.

Disclosing a problem in the community or disclosing a crime? Unless you count the quality of thin hospital robes, nope.

So I guess I am 50/50 on the legal. I better do some more research.

Goal for the Week

Since my proclamation last week that I am looking into writing a memoir, I see the need to challenge myself. I need to make writing a priority. I need to write everyday like a job. I must get up in the morning and spend time writing.

With that in mind, I am challenging myself to write a daily blog this work week. Five blogs in a row. What about -- who knows?

Writing is a real issue for me at this time. When it is cold and I am fatigued, I shake. Not the teeth chattering shake but the cerebral palsy jerking. My speech also alters. Thoughts come into my head but I can't literally say them. Sort of a form of apraxia. It is a form of paraneoplastic syndrome. The white cancer cells from the metastasis attacked my nervous system. So I have permanent damage that comes and goes in cycles. Extreme cold is one of the triggers.

I am hoping that this writing exercise will keep me from loosing it mentally as my body jerks and shakes through the day. I need to convince myself that mind is still in this deteriorating body.

Hey, it must be working because an idea just popped into head for tomorrow's blog!

Memoir

I feel compelled to write the story of the last decade. Even longer in fact. Yet I am puzzled with how to start. Should I jump around in time, go backwards or forward. Should I include only the cancer bits or should it be a story about building – building from fibro to now. How do I include the information on faith? Why am I hesitant to include the faith parts? Does that go back to a fundamental show don’t tell philosophy I grew up with?

Perhaps I should chronicle my writing on the blog. Write about how I make the decisions. Decisions like chronology, voice and truth. Talk about looking at the past and seeing it through a different filter. If I remember at all.

I like to write in short sentences. Language that is simple and direct. Rarely do my sentences follow the traditional noun plus verb format. I write like I speak. I write like I talk. Does that bring me closer to the reader? Is it a more intimate experience? Or just extremely juvenile and annoying?

Even by putting these sentences on paper, I am committing. That is the other fear. Committing. If I don’t tell you then I don’t feel compelled to follow through. Or if I fail, then you wouldn’t know because I never told you.

Big questions. I still don’t know the answers.

How many times?

How often can a person resolve to start over? Do you get one do-over? Or is every moment a chance to change?

I believe in the moments. Resolve is a constant. Not a one time decision but a constant need to be determined. Therefore, starting over and change has to have the opportunity to occur when your resolve begins. Everytime it begins. Over and over.

Spur of the moment decisions often look weak in the light of day.

Duality

This weekend was a perfect example of the duality of my life. For many people this is common. For me, this was an extreme circumstance that illustrated the differences.

We had a four day weekend. The kids were off Friday and Monday. Looking forward, we decided to visit a college with my oldest daughter. Due to her college preferences and scheduled visitation days, Ohio University was first on the list. My Alma Mater. We did the trip in one day and spent several hours touring campus. We also spent a good hour with an admissions adviser in her desired field.

Overall a productive day spent with a highschool junior and campus of college kids.

Today, was my youngest son's big birthday party. The kids are allowed one big party in elementary school. This was the big one. We scheduled it at Pump It Up, a large inflatable party center. 25 eight year old kids from school and the neighborhood. I have over 300 pictures from three different cameras and most of them are a blur. We had a fantastic time.

Overall a great day spent with first graders.

Hence, the duality of two lives. My head is spinning.

STR

I don't know Ingrid but my mother died from a stroke. I clearly remember her first stroke. We were coming down for the weekend and when we arrived I was struck by her flat, expressionless face. She insisted she was fine and my father seemed unfazed. We had dinner and went to bed. My mother contributed a little but seemed distant and quiet. The next morning, the same and worse. Right after breakfast, I insisted that we go to the hospital and we found she had had a stroke. If only I asked her to smile and follow the STR strategy. We may have saved her. Less than two years she laid down for a nap and had a massive and final stroke. I knew the signs of a heart attack but I never the signs of a stroke. If only if only . . ..

INFORMATION EVERYONE SHOULD KNOW........................
Blood Clots/Stroke - They Now Have a Fourth Indicator, the Tongue

STROKE - Remember the 1st Three Letters....S.T.R.

STROKE IDENTIFICATION:

During a BBQ, a friend stumbled and took a little fall - she assured everyone that she was fine (they offered to call paramedics) .she said she had just tripped over a brick because of her new shoes.

They got her cleaned up and got her a new plate of food. While she appeared a bit shaken up, Ingrid went about enjoying herself the rest of the evening

Ingrid's husband called later telling everyone that his wife had been taken to the hospital - (at 6:00 pm Ingrid passed away.) She had suffered a stroke at the BBQ. Had they known how to identify the signs of a stroke, perhaps Ingrid would be with us today. Some don't die. They end up in a helpless, hopeless condition instead.

It only takes a minute to read this...

A neurologist says that if he can get to a stroke victim within 3 hours he can totally reverse the effects of a stroke...totally. He said the trick was getting a stroke recognized; diagnosed, and then getting the patient medically cared for within 3 hours, which is tough.

RECOGNIZING A STROKE

Thank God for the sense to remember the '3' steps, STR. Read and Learn!

Sometimes symptoms of a stroke are difficult to identify. Unfortunately, the lack of awareness spells disaster. The stroke victim may suffer severe brain damage when people nearby fail to recognize the symptoms of a stroke.

Now doctors say a bystander can recognize a stroke by asking three simple questions:

S *Ask the individual to SMILE.
T *Ask the person to TALK and SPEAK A SIMPLE SENTENCE (Coherently)
(i.e. It is sunny out today.)
R *Ask him or her to RAISE BOTH ARMS.

If he or she has trouble with ANY ONE of these tasks, call emergency number immediately and describe the symptoms to the dispatcher.

New Sign of a Stroke -------- Stick out Your Tongue

NOTE: Another 'sign' of a stroke is this: Ask the person to 'stick' out his tongue.. If the tongue is 'crooked', if it goes to one side or the other, that is also an indication of a stroke.

A Week of Exhausting Fun

We spent an unusual week over New Years. We went to Washington DC. For many people this may be a weekend trip or a pass through on the way to somewhere else. We spent five full days there and still only scratched the tip.

What a great week! We toured the capital, Library of Congress, Archives, Smithsonians, monuments, and much more. Each of us had a list of what we wanted to see and made time for each other. At every location there was more to see than intended. Never ending exhibits, interactive computer stations, docents and on and on.

The best part was that almost all of it was free. We did pay a small processing fee for tour the Washington Monument and pass the line at the Archives. My husband was able to find a great room at a Residence Inn on the metro line. We parked the car and only used it once. The rest of the time we rode the metro. Breakfast was included. For three days, they served dinner as well. A great savings for all of us. We had a large breakfast and didn't need to eat until dinner.

The only down fall was the walking. Oh did we walk. Miles and miles every day up and down corridors, building to building. Oiy, what tired feet! We did notice a real lack of benches and garbage cans. Must be new security issues.

I have come back a real respect for our country. I am so proud to be an American!